Im so sorry, I realized that last night I put something in my profile..then when i get rid of it, i must of deleted the code by accident. You took us off your profile??? Why, ive had you on my profile forever...why would i be ashamed...you know I love you, why are you on defense mode? WHY?
Im sorry I didnt write in the blog....a couple of days ago you werent even responding to the nice things i put in the blog...it was just short answers Like "ok baby" then you acted so wierd on the phone and made me seem like you can find better...that im not good enough...You acted so distant like you were talking to someone else, and so desperate to go to the club...you know how that feels and only makes me think you wanted to meet someone there. Then make me feel like total shit that im not there and your fucking CO-worker giving you snotty fucking little girl advice "oh I hate couples that dont have friends" "oh my boyfirend lets me do whatever I want" then come to me with "Jason, I dont want to turn out like some couples do" You fucking made me so so feel like shit about everything and made me think if you can consider advice from a girl thats embarrased of her boyfriends looks at times..then that only leads me to believe you would take advice if they told you about some hotter guy that wants to hook up with you. Ive heard it before in my past "oh , jason is working...he wont know..cmon lets go meet these guys and get fucked".
Do you know one time a i was with an ex girl and her friend and her friends said all relationships go bad after 6months, and my ex told me later on that she thinks she is right! Fuck everyone...im so fucking mad...while I will never never never compare you to them because i love you so so much jennifer...you drive me crazy crazy....but things like hearing you tell me "i dont want to be like the other couples she is talking about" only reminds me of the past and how can you blame me. It only leads me to believe that if that keeps up then I dont think I could ever feel safe. If you want me, then Im yours ..im so upset right now. If you think you can listen to an inexpereieced girl who doesnt know anything about us or the things she is ranting about then fine...go ahead...go go go go. Try deeply to think of one couple you know that doesnt hang out with friends. Right you cant think of any can you....really you cant..casue its very rare.
My heart pounds deeply for you, I do so much for you and you are always on my mind....I try so hard to to get this visa cause I dont want to be away from you for this long again. I want you so much...Our bodies, minds, and our souls together till we die. I want that passion with us, and that sexual relationship. I am so crazy for you. you dont even know. this video is for you... im crazy for you


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFaBKg5iEwU

^watch that link then call me when you watch it

Your voice

So glad I got to talk to you!
It made me feel so much better, I will go to work happy :)

I was bothered and, you hearing your voice calmed me down.
You are the light in my life Jason!

lots of kisses

Good luck today!
I love you!

I hate this

I know our love is strong, I KNOW you wanna be with me forever and always, and everything.
I know we wanna share eachothers future.

But!
Sometimes, there is small things that bothers me, and makes me sad in the morning when I wake up. Things that you do, that effects me so bad that I wanna call you right up and wake you up 7 am in the morning.
1. I asked you to write me something nice here that I can read when I wake up, it is not much to ask for when you are up antoher 7 hours after I go to bed. I wake up, excited, I open the blog...and nothing, I had put up a picture of Time square...and...whatever.
2. Last active 2 hrs and 47 min. you went to bed 4 am your time, we got off the phone 9 pm your time...hmm...
3. You took off our picture on your MD 2 signature..................................why? I took off mine too now. *sad*

3 small things that makes my day a kinda sad and bothered one insted of a happy and excited day. This makes me not wanna go to work...I will go to work and I will be sad. and bothered. cause I wont talk to you until I get back from work....

I dont know what you are thinking when you go to, edit my account, and delete the codes for our picture together. I wonder....is he ashamed of me? does he not wanna show us together as a couple? I dont understand.

You are going to the konsulat today, I wish you good luck and...as I think about this, the things that make me sad, I almost wanna drop some tears. but...I dont know. I'm tired of it. I wanna stay strong and staying strong mean, that I am gonna have to be mad at you until I get to talk to you, just be mad at you so I dont have to feel sad. do you understand what I mean?
I'll be on defense mood.

anyway, I love you so much you dont understand!!!!!!
I can not control you Jason, you do what you want. Hope you just do the right things from now on.
Dont be worried. I'm yours always! just remember that always and forever.

:(
Bye.