Negative

This blog is filled with sadness and negative feelings.
I dont like it.
Im waiting for you to write something cute, but...no...

Did you really read all my posts that I posted that hour of waiting for you last night?

.ggg

ok dont right on here..right in the blog...its ok...im here as ive always been..was just out with leaon comin back from his dads house. we went to kurts for like 1 hr..i wanted to back sooner...its ok..im here for you. I always care...im honest

Jason

Seriously. you have to call me and explain what's going on...
you have to call me...

I feel so empty right now.
So blank....
I dont know what to say anymore.
I feel so stupid for acting this way.

You have to call me, just call...my cell-phone or whatever...whenever, even if it is when Im at work.

I'm taking one step back for now. Just to make myself calm down.

God, Im crying so much!

You dont care about me!?

Talked to your mom...

She answered, she said you were out, at least that is what she thought.

Can't believe it...
You're out...doing what?
Omg.
I'm worried.
Jason! wtf!

I woke your mom up, because of trying to get a hold of you.
damn.
What a fucking mistake.
I dont ever wanna feel like this ever again...
I hate crying over you this way.

WTF!

Why are you doing this to me!!!!

Why?
I'm now getting mad at you.
Oh god. you've made me feel like crap this morning.
I'm so so so so so so so....i dont know....upset.
Thanks....thanks a lot!
I thought I could count on you.

You know...this makes me take one step back...
one step back...in caring for you too much.
Im just not care...
It's so hard. Cause I love you so much.
But Im gonna have to try and not think about you today...
Work is gonna suck...cause Im not feeling happy right now.
I've called your house 4 times now.
I feel like a fool.

I'm going to work in 30 min.
I thought Id be talking to you by now...but no.
I will never ask you for anything anymore, cause I dont wanna feel this way again...
the feeling of hope being crushed.

:(

Ive been clicking on your MDE porfil over and over and over again...
to see if you're online.

Im crying so much, looking at pictures of you, you're so goregous on them.
God...I feel like shit.
Where are you?

Why?

Why havent you called me?
Where are you?
What are you doing?

Im so disapointed.
Am I not gonna talk to you at all before I got to work?
Omg...
Shit...
...What is going on in your head right now?
"Oh, I dont need to call Jennifer or write her anything...No, no no...Ill just go to sleep."
or whatever you're doing right now....

Omg...
Feels like I care so much more then you do, you know I would do ANYTHING for you. Anything!!! and if I keept a promis I would keep it.
You havent...
And Im so sad.

My day is gonna suck!!!

Omg

Still no call...I thought I could count on you to call me.
I wanted to talk to you before I go to work.
Did you fall asleep?.....no...that would be wierd, you could have said something then at least, that youre going to bed.
Did you go out?....yeah, maybe to get cigarettes...maybe you had to walk there, if so, you could have wrote me and told me that you were gonna be late or something.

Im crying again, Im a mess.
Im too into you....
I feel stupid...
I dont wanna call really either and check if you're there again, cause I dont wanna wake someone up.

I feel that Im the only one writing to you and so on....where are you?

I wonder...

...if I care too much.

I havent been able to sleep baby, it's because I basicly woke up from a long sleep only about 12 hours ago.
Im gonna go thru this day, and be tired by the right time later this night coming...
I think that is the best thing to do :)
Ive been relaxing tho. Ive been just lying in bed, thinking....about a lot of things.
I think Im a bit nervous about coming back to work...just that Ive been away for a while.

I wonder if I care to much...about you.
I just called you...I hope Im not freaking you out by being all over you.
cause its soon 6 am my time...midnight your time, you said youd call so...Im kind of waiting...what if you dont call?
That must mean that you dont really care, at least not like I do. I do hope you keep your word...Only 2 min left to midnight...and you've been inactive about 30 min on MDE, I wonder where you are.
I wanna talk before I go to work...Shit...Im sorry Im all over you.
I just havent come over the fact of being home and away from you.
I think Im gonna need you these coming days until Ive grown use to being away from you, you know.

Jason, where are you?

Cell phone pics.

Me, and air forces in the back.My night stand, pic of us.
I LOVE YOU!

My Man...

--------------------------------------------------------->

See the new picture there! :)


Just got off the phone with you! and I just wanna say again, you're my man! You're the one! My man....omg *blush* I got my own man.
A man that takes care of me and loves me. You're the best baby!

Talk tomorrow!

SHIT!

I just saw your blog msg after I wrote that.
Hhuhuhuhuhuuhuh!!!!! :´(
Im crying so much....I don't know why really, I guess...I just need you so much right now!
This should have been hour night....just us...talking.
I just got back home today....I need you to be around.
I can't call you, cause you're not home and it sucks!

GO HOME!!
call me!!

I pray to god you come home soon

I regret telling you to go out, or rather I regret telling you not too.
Im crying right now....
I miss you, I need you!!
I want you!
I wanna talk to you! Hear your voice.
I thought I sleept for a long time but I woke up and I had only sleept an hour or so, I fell asleep again and woke up another hour later...
I looked at the clock and saw that you really just left 2 hours ago.
Damn!
When will you be home?
probably like in the morning my time, I wish you were here right now. Im hurting so much Jason....
God, I LOVE YOU!
you have to call me when you read this!!!!!!

oh

babe, you cant sleeP?

you will hear my voice 2morrow..i cant wait to get out of this place..im so bored ..i regret coming

pusses